THE PARADOX OF POSITIVITY

There's been plenty of talk on my timeline this week about the need for positivity, and for good reason. In the midst of our current crisis, real, productive positive thinking is and will be the foundation on which our surviving, and - believe it or not - even our thriving in this time will be built. That kind of positivity is not weak or soft; it's hard-fought and hard-won. By following the lead of those who've fought and won, though, we put ourselves in the best position to weather this storm, and come out better and stronger on the other side.

In Jim Collins' best-selling book Good to Great, he tells the story of Admiral Jim Stockdale, the highest-ranking US military officer held in the brutal "Hanoi Hilton" prisoner-of-war camp during Vietnam. Tortured repeatedly over the course of almost eight years, Stockdale showed an almost super-human sense of duty, honor, courage, and strength. Miraculously, he not only survived, he returned to his family, became a national hero, and achieved success as an educator and politician. He even served as Ross Perot's vice-presidential candidate in 1992.

As silly as it seems to compare Stockdale's experience in Vietnam to the "prison" this time of social distancing has created for us, there is an important principle from his experience that's both relevant and practical for today. It illustrates the kind of positivity that separates those who overcome unexpected or uncontrollable circumstances of any kind, from the nightmare of a Vietnamese war camp to the fear of a crippling pandemic. Collins called it the "Stockdale Paradox." This mindset requires a constant commitment to cultivating both a sense of optimism and a sense of realism. In Stockdale's own words: "You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - which you can never afford to lose - with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be." It's the paradox of real, productive positivity.

"You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - which you can never afford to lose - with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be."

-Admiral Jim Stockdale

As we navigate our way through this challenging time, our optimism is essential. We cannot confuse faith that we will prevail at the end of this - that we absolutely can and will get through it. But the Stockdale Paradox warns us that optimism alone isn't enough. In fact, when Collins asked the Admiral who struggled most in the war camp, his response was striking. "The optimists," he said. "Oh, they were the ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."

In recent weeks, we've seen plenty of this, what you might call blind optimism. Politicians, medical experts, and even everyday people seem to be avoiding the most brutal facts of our current reality. "This is no big deal" or "It'll be done in no time," they say. Some, like the Admrial's comrades did, have even targeted an end date for the pandemic, assuming it'll all be over by this time or that. Stockdale's description of those blind optimists - and their demise in Vietnam - should serve as a warning to us here today: this kind of positivity is dangerous. It's out of balance. In fact, like it was for Stockdale, it's naive and foolish.

Of course, at the same time, losing balance in the other direction wasn't healthy or productive for Stockdale - and isn't healthy or productive for us, either. Even in his darkest, most impossible moments (and let's face it, as tough as the past couple weeks have been for us, is there really any comparison?) Stockdale continued to believe that the best was yet to come. "I never lost faith in the end of the story," he said. "I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade."

The facts of our current situation are not particularly uplifting. In fact, like Stockdale must've felt so often in the midst of his nightmare, there's no telling at this point when this nightmare - our nightmare - might end. It's scary. It's stressful. And it can feel overwhelming. But don't lose faith in the end of the story. Continue to believe that the best is yet to come.

The Stockdale Paradox gives us a framework for navigating our way through this tough time. It doesn't allow us to close our eyes to the truth. Instead, it forces us to look the truth right in the eye - even the hard, ugly truth - all while maintaining an unshakable faith that we can and will prevail in the end. I want to encourage you to fight each day to balance these very different, yet mutually important commitments, to both your optimism and your realism. By doing so, just like Stockdale did, you put yourself in the best position to weather this storm, and come out better and stronger on the other side.