TAKE THE EMOTION OUT OF THE EDUCATION
One of the biggest challenges we face in working to raise champion athletes and young people comes in our role as educators. You may officially label yourself a parent or a coach, but really what you are, in many ways, is a teacher. There’s so much your kids need to learn in order for them to become their best, and you’re the one responsible for teaching them.
Some of those things they need to learn are physical. Of course they need to learn how to run and jump. Depending on their sport, they need to learn how to throw, shoot, kick, or catch. These sport-specific skills are critical to their success. But many of the most important things they need to learn aren’t physical - they’re mental.
They need to learn how to give their best effort, regardless of the circumstances. They need to learn how to handle challenges and adversity. They need to learn how to be a teammate, how to face and overcome their fears, how to get coached, and more. There is so much they need to learn if they’re going to reach their potential, in sports and in life. That makes your effectiveness as an educator essential.
There are plenty of ways you can limit that effectiveness, but today I want to focus on one of the most common: educating with emotion - specifically, with the negative emotion that so often comes with our kids’ athletic experience. The truth is, it’s really hard for you to teach well - and, more importantly, really hard for your young athlete to learn well - when you get caught up in your emotions. Your teaching suffers when it’s done with anger, frustration, disappointment, or sarcasm. The hard part is, getting caught up in the emotion of a competitive moment or a negative performance is an easy and impulsive thing to do, especially if your kid’s playing at a high level. But as is usually the case, what’s easy and impulsive is rarely what’s effective.
It’s really hard for you to teach well - and, more importantly, really hard for your young athlete to learn well - when you get caught up in your emotions.
Understand that as an educator, your primary objective is not for you to teach...it’s for your kids to learn. If what you want is for them to know they did something wrong, then emotion can be your ally. But if you want them to learn how to do something right, then emotion is your enemy. Your anger, frustration, disappointment, or sarcasm make it harder for your child to do what’s most important - to learn. If they’re struggling to learn, the easy and impulsive thing for the mediocre teacher to do is to blame the student. But maybe the real problem isn’t the way that important information’s being received, but the way it’s being delivered.
Taking the emotion out of your young athlete's education isn’t easy. Helping them learn what it takes to become a champion requires your attention and your intention. Be aware, not just of what you’re trying to share, but just as importantly, how exactly you’re trying to share it. If that important information is wrapped in emotion - in your anger, frustration, disappointment, or sarcasm - then you’re better off saving it for later. Does it need to be shared? Absolutely it does. And you’re the one who needs to share it. Remember, you may officially label yourself a parent or a coach, but really what you are is a teacher. There’s so much your kids need to learn. Just make sure you’re educating effectively.