STOP COMPLAINING, START RE-TRAINING
Scientific research continues to show that there are unhealthy ramifications for people who habitually complain. In fact, a recent Inc.com article titled “Complaining is Terrible for You, According to Science” revealed that “steeping yourself in negativity has seriously terrible consequences for your mental and physical health.”
When you allow yourself to complain, your health isn’t all that suffers. Complaining negatively affects your performance, too. Because chronic complainers are more prone to look for and latch onto even the flimsiest excuses for what went wrong or what didn’t get done, their levels of resilience and ownership rarely meet a winning standard. Complainers are usually quick to do what losers do - adopt a victim mentality, and quick to place the blame for their poor performance anywhere but on themselves.
That's not all, though. Complaining also cripples your relationships. High-performing teams and partnerships in any area of life are made up of people who bring a positive spirit and a problem-solving mentality to the group. Complaining, it’s been said, is like vomiting. It may make you feel better, but it makes the people around you miserable. It's a surefire way to ruin the energy and morale of your group.
So if it’s obvious that complaining is so terrible for us, why do we do it? The simple answer is because it’s easy. Because the circumstances of life and the conditions surrounding our performance almost never go according to plan, something to complain about is always available. And while taking ownership or remaining resilient in our moments of challenge and inconvenience requires us to dig deep and muster up some resolve, complaining literally takes no effort or toughness whatsoever. It is the most convenient and most readily available route you can take. That's why it’s so appealing and so popular.
While taking ownership or remaining resilient in our moments of challenge and inconvenience requires us to dig deep and muster up some resolve, complaining literally takes no effort or toughness whatsoever.
The truth we have to reckon with today lies in that space between the easy choice complaining offers and the difficult choice that winning requires. The truth is that if you see every challenge or inconvenience in life an an opportunity to complain, you’ll never reach your potential. The best version of yourself - the one most worthy of winning - challenges you to take ownership and remain resilient in those moments of challenge and inconvenience. It requires you to do what champions do.
If you’re willing to admit that you’ve allowed this negative behavior to play too big a part in your experience, then today is a great day to change. That requires you to make the effort and muster up the toughness first to stop complaining, then to start re-training your perspective and your decisions. It starts with accepting that complaining, though easy and convenient, is not productive. It doesn’t get you any closer to the goals you want to achieve or any closer to the person winning requires you to be.
Re-training also means re-framing the place challenge and inconvenience play in your story. It’s time to stop foolishly and naively expecting that things will go according to plan. You should know by now, they rarely do. Instead of allowing yourself to become the victim to those circumstances you can’t control, recognize the power you do have, and the important areas you can control.
No matter what happens, you get to control your attitude and your effort. You get to control your response to what happens, and you get to control the way you treat others. If you commit to taking ownership in those areas you can control instead of dwelling on those you can't, you'll probably find there's so much to do, you don't have time to complain.
Finally, re-training requires you to dig deeper, muster up some new resolve, and exhibit some more toughness. When you feel the urge to complain coming on, you’ve got to do what champions do. Stop and redirect your focus. It isn’t the easiest or most convenient option you’ll have in that moment of decision, but the more you work to re-train your response, the better it'll get. Your health, your performance, and your relationships will improve. And the more worthy of winning you'll become.