RAISING A LATE BLOOMER

Ahhh, puberty. What a time, huh? It’s a weird time for a kid. A complicated time. Usually, it’s an unexpectedly smelly time. And puberty’s no cakewalk for a parent, either. It’s complicated, and it’s weird, and in some ways, it can stink for us, too. It can be especially challenging if you're parenting a “late bloomer,” an athlete who’s still waiting for their hormones to kick in while everyone else’s seem to be firing on all cylinders. 

Supporting, encouraging, and developing a late bloomer is a unique challenge that many parents face. It may be one you’re facing today. It's difficult in part because it often feels like there’s not much to do but wait. You're waiting for your kid to grow. You're waiting for the playing field to level out. You're waiting for him or her to have a real shot at success. Maintaining your patience and perseverance, and helping your child do the same, is one of your most important responsibilities.

But I want you to see today that for all the short-term challenges that come with raising a late bloomer, there are some important long-term benefits available to you and your young athlete, too…if you take advantage of them. Yes, this time requires some waiting, but more importantly, it requires some working to make this time meaningful. While so many other kids are focused on developing their body, you can use this time to work on developing your child's brain. Champions win because they've cultivated their muscle, of course, but in time that won't be enough. Winning will be just as much about cultivating their mind.

For all the short-term challenges that come with raising a late bloomer, there are some important long-term benefits available to you and your young athlete, too…if you take advantage of them.

Real success for any underdog, including your late bloomer, requires an uncommon level toughness, effort, and attitude. Now is the time to focus in on those qualities that so many front-runners and their parents are ignoring. Your headstart in developing your child's winning mindset will help close the gap on their competition today, but more importantly, it will accelerate their performance in the future, as their physical ability catches up. Build the mind and trust that in time, the body will follow.

The same can be said for your child’s sport-specific technique. Underdogs have developed the discipline that attention to detail and a high standard of execution require. The physically mature front-runner can overpower their competition and just steamroll their way to success, but what happens when everyone else catches up, and real technical skill is called for? The late bloomer’s focus on discipline, technique, and execution may not net many wins today, but it will positively influence their performance tomorrow.

Ultimately, life as a late bloomer is about embracing the process that real, authentic success requires. The late bloomer is in many ways "the process" personified. Kids who mature early and find success effortlessly can be conditioned to think winning is easy and to dismiss the process of struggling, learning, and improving that's usually part of any meaningful experience. Life as a front-runner is great for your ego, but it isn’t always great for your development. It can be dangerous for kids who never experience the harsh reality of authentic achievement. In time, it makes chasing excellence – and all that comes with it, especially the hard stuff – a lot less fun.

The struggle of the late bloomer’s experience, on the other hand, can help them cultivate a healthy and productive mindset on what really drives winning. Late bloomers are more prone not just to endure those struggles, but to include the challenge of facing and overcoming them in their definition of fun. That mindset’s so valuable, but it can only be molded by a parent who’s developed it for first themselves.

I’m not trying to marginalize the challenge that comes with raising a late bloomer. It's tough. It will challenge your patience and your perseverance. But sometimes what’s really hard on us can actually be really good for us, and for our kids, too…if we use it the right way. So press on! Keep developing those intangibles – the toughness, the effort, and the attitude of a champion, and keep clarifying the important role they have in your child’s success. Keep building their discipline, refining their technique, and emphasizing their attention to detail. Keep clarifying for yourself and your child the important place struggle and adversity have in any meaningful experience, in sports and in life. And keep enjoying the journey – despite the challenges – and helping your young athlete do the same. Trust the process of growth and development, and you'll find soon enough that what's bloomed is beautiful.