MANAGE THE MESS

I’m not sure how things are where you live, but this time of year brings with it some unique challenges for homeowners in my neck of the woods. As temperatures drop and winter approaches, new responsibilities arise. These are responsibilities I neither like nor want, but they exist nonetheless. Among the most inconvenient, most burdensome, and most miserable of them all for me? Raking this never-ending pile of fallen leaves.

My property’s filled with trees, and most of the year I enjoy and appreciate them. But here late in the fall, they become the bane of my home ownership existence. This week when I walked out back, I was met with a mess of fall foliage. There were leaves everywhere. “What a pain,” I groaned to myself. “I don't have time for this." On top of everything else I've got going on, when will I possibly fit managing this mess into my schedule? I went back inside and tried to forget what I had seen, but I knew all too well what had to be done. I’d already learned this lesson the hard way.

A few autumns ago I faced a similar predicament. The leaves in my yard were piling up, along with plenty of other responsibilities in life. I was just too busy to deal with it, I convinced myself. It wasn't a big deal. I’d just wait it out and manage it later. Of course, my schedule didn’t slow down. Week after week the weather turned, and I continued to put my responsibilities on the back burner until I ran out of time. Winter came, snow fell, and my leaf problem - it seemed on the surface - had disappeared. At least, that is, until spring rolled around.

It was at that point I realized that avoiding my responsibilities before had only created a much bigger mess later on. Those leaves were all still there, only now they were wet, heavy, and rotten. Here in the spring they were also threatening to kill the new grass trying to grow in. It took a lot more work and was actually a lot bigger burden trying to fix the problem I should've taken care of long before. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way – a lesson that applies, actually, to many areas of life.

It took a lot more work and was actually a lot bigger burden trying to fix the problem I should've taken care of long before.

As parents and coaches, it's a lesson that applies to the work we're doing to raise and develop champion athletes and people. Of course it would be nice if this development work only included encouraging all the positive qualities we want our kids to possess, but you probably know by now it also includes managing what's messy sometimes, too. It requires recognizing and addressing those qualities that you see clearly can keep your young athlete from becoming their best. Maybe it's laziness or arrogance or entitlement. Maybe it's selfishness or negativity. Whatever those challenges may be for your child, they're accompanied by an important responsibility for you. It may be a responsibility you neither like nor want, but it exists nonetheless. And ultimately you're the one who'll have to decide how you manage it.

The temptation for any of us is to justify ignoring or delaying this important work. Sure, your kid's laziness or arrogance or entitlement is an issue, but addressing it today probably doesn’t fit into your busy schedule. Besides, it's easy to think, it’s not that big a deal. Sure it’s a problem, and yes it needs addressing, but it’s a problem you might convince yourself can wait for another day. The issue, of course, is that while you’re avoiding this work, these problems are growing bigger and uglier. And when you finally get around to addressing them down the line – or, maybe more likely, when they become such a problem that they can no longer be ignored – you might have a much bigger mess to deal with.

No matter how much I wanted to avoid addressing my backyard mess this fall, past experience just wouldn’t let me. I finally prioritized the time, found the energy, and mustered up the discipline needed to take care of the problem. I saw clearly that if I didn't deal with it now, I’d have a much bigger mess to deal with later on. I hope you can see the same is true when it comes to raising and developing champion athletes and people. Prioritize the time, find the energy, and muster up the discipline it takes to manage that mess when it presents itself today. Tomorrow you’ll be glad you did.