IS JUST ANYTHING OKAY?

Building and developing anything great in this world requires a standard of excellence, a mark or measure of satisfactory performance. That mark separates the quality of the work done, the quality of the choices made, and the quality of the behaviors exhibited into two groups – those that meet the standard and are accepted, and those that don’t and aren’t. In a culture like that, it becomes more and more clear over time the work, choices, and behaviors that measure up and those that don’t. If just anything is okay, then that means there is no standard, and no standard means no success. It’s true for building and developing anything great, including champion athletes and people. As a sports parent, you need to see clearly the significance of the standard you set.

You have to accept this responsibility for setting the standard while your young athlete is growing, learning, and developing the ability to do it for him or herself. Your child may want to be great, but they probably don't really understand yet what greatness requires. This doesn’t mean you've got a bad kid; it just means you've got a kid. Despite what they say, kids usually want what’s easiest, or most comfortable, or most convenient. Your child hasn’t experienced enough, succeeded enough, struggled enough, or learned enough to know what it takes yet. That’s why you’re here. As their builder and developer, you have to be able to see clearly what it takes, and then commit to the process of helping them discover it for themselves.

Your child hasn’t experienced enough, succeeded enough, struggled enough, or learned enough to know what it takes yet. That’s why you’re here.

I hope you're challenged today to stop and consider the standard you’ve set for your young athlete. Is just anything okay for you? If you’re a champion sports parent, then the answer is no. There must be times when you’re willing to say, “That’s not okay. It’s not good enough, and I cannot accept it.” Those words aren’t always easy, but if you’re serious about helping your child reach their full potential, you have to do more than just set the standard; you also have to enforce it. Here are a few areas where setting and enforcing a high standard is critical to their success:

Set a standard for their effort…  When it comes to your child’s effort, is just anything okay? If you're a champion sports parent, then the answer is no. That’s because the champion gives a singular effort. They give their very best, period. Losers give a circumstantial effort. They give their best…until. Until it gets hard. Until it looks uncool. Until no one’s watching. For the losers, there’s a long list of “untils.” The standard you set in this area will help determine the standard your child creates for him or herself, in sports and in life.

Set a standard for how they treat others…  When it comes to the way your child interacts with their teammates, is just anything okay? If you're a champion sports parent, then the answer is no. That’s because the champion athlete respects, uplifts, and inspires their teammates. They are energy givers who make those around them better. Losers degrade and diminish their teammates. They aren't energy givers – they're usually more like energy drains. The standard you set in this area will help determine the standard your child creates for him or herself, in sports and in life.

Set a standard for handling adversity…  When it comes to the way your child handles adversity, is just anything okay? If you're a champion sports parent, then the answer is no. That’s because the champion athlete has developed their toughness and resilience. They understand that overcoming adversity is a part of any success story, and that the challenges we face aren’t nearly as important as our response to them. Losers are weak-minded and unprepared for those challenges. They spend less time striving for success and more time wishing it was easier. The standard you set in this area will help determine the standard your child creates for him or herself, in sports and in life.

These are three great areas to set and then enforce a high standard for your young athlete. Each one is so important to their success, and each one is controllable. Their age and ability level are irrelevant. So are the circumstances surrounding their performance. No matter what, your child can control the effort they give, the way they treat others, and the response they choose in the face of adversity. The more they experience, struggle, learn, and eventually meet the high standard you’ve set, the more like a champion your child begins to look.

Of course, the process of learning and developing isn’t easy, comfortable, or convenient. It will take some time and some practice. There will be plenty of days when your child doesn’t meet the standard. They won’t always give their best effort. They won’t always be a great teammate. And they won’t always handle their challenges well. It’s in those moments, as they're being tested, that you’ll likely find yourself being tested as well. After all, they aren't the only ones who’ve got a standard to live up to. If you’re serious about being your best as a sports parent, there’s also a high standard for your choices and behavior. You can’t accept just anything from yourself, either.

Just like your champion athlete, you are responsible for giving a singular effort. No circumstance – not even when your child hasn’t given their best – can keep you from giving your best. You are responsible for respecting, uplifting, and inspiring those around you – especially your child, even when they haven't done the same. And you have to develop the toughness and resilience it takes to respond to your own struggles and challenges. You know, like when your child falls short of the high standards you’ve set.

As always, the most effective way to help your young athlete learn and improve is to model winning behavior yourself. Don’t settle for anything less than your best. Remember, if just anything is okay, then that means there is no standard...and no standard means no success.