CLOSE THE GAP

One thing I emphasize regularly here in the newsletter is the value of creating and maintaining a clear vision for who your child can become, both in sports and in life. That vision not only provides you with hope for where you’re headed, it also creates a strong belief that will help keep you from giving up, throwing in the towel, or walking away when the work gets tough. But there’s another important benefit to creating and maintaining a clear vision for your child’s future that’s worth discussing today. A vision also clarifies for you the gap that exists between who your child is and the champion he or she is capable of becoming. It clarifies not just that a gap exists, but more importantly, where it exists. It helps you see clearly the areas where they’re deficient, and – if you’re willing to do the work – it highlights for you the specific, purposeful, intentional action you can take to close that gap, and move your child closer to their very best. I regularly reference here in the newsletter the talents possessed by the champion athlete. They are the skills and abilities taught, emphasized, and cultivated by a champion sports parent, one who’s committed to helping their child reach their full potential on the playing field and beyond. These talents are the separators between your kid and others he or she will be competing with and against forever. They are the qualities that define the very best in sports and in life.

I hope you'll take a minute today to stop and create a vision - specifically, a vision of what your child would look like with each of these talents fully developed. Look back at that list. If you were to evaluate your young athlete’s ability in each area from 1 (terrible) to 10 (incredible), what would they look like as a 10 in each one? I’m talking top-shelf, elite-level, different-from-all-the-rest superstar in each of those specific areas. Let’s start first with their experience in sports. Stop and live in that vision for a minute.

Imagine the opportunities they might have if they were driven by an unwavering, deep-rooted passion for the game. Imagine if absolutely no circumstance kept them from giving their very best effort at all times. Think if they developed the mental toughness to overcome any conceivable adversity on the playing field. If they were relentlessly motivated by a genuine desire to get better, and if that desire to improve helped them develop strong, trustworthy relationships with their coach. If they became the gold standard of a selfless, committed teammate who makes everyone around them better. If they were strong and courageous enough to go for it in the big moments, and then handle whatever came after. If they were fueled by the positive attitude and powerful belief that comes from a clear vision of their own.

Your child would probably have an amazing sports experience, wouldn’t they? Not only in the things they’d accomplish, but in the fun they’d have, too. And believe me, if your child was a 10 in each of those areas, they wouldn’t be the only one having fun on game night. You’d be loving the experience as well.

Now, forget about sports – let’s talk about life. Someday soon (probably sooner than you think), your child's playing days will be over. If you’ve been intentional about developing each of these talents as preparation for the life he or she will be living in adulthood, then consider what kind of success might be out there for them then. Consider how prepared the 10-level athlete is to become a 10-level spouse. Or a 10-level parent. What kind of a friend have you built? What kind of professional? That should be an inspiring picture you’ve got in your mind. It’s your child, the champion in life. If what you’re seeing doesn’t inspire you, then you need a bigger, better, clearer vision.

The reality today, of course, is that your child is not a 10 in those areas. They’re not equipped to play or live like a champion… yet. Hopefully you can identify some areas where they are doing well – areas you’d rank them a 7 or an 8, or even higher. If they’re strong in an area, then make sure you help them see its connection to their success. Highlight and celebrate the emerging champion you’re working to develop.

More importantly, though, you’ve got to decide what you’ll do with those areas of weakness. If you evaluate your child as a 1, 2, or 3 somewhere, then that’s good. It means you’re honestly – and maybe painfully – assessing their current proficiency, or lack thereof. But by seeing clearly who they are and holding it up next to who you’ve determined they can be, you’re clarifying for yourself the gap that exists between the two. The clearer your vision for who your child can become, and the more honestly you assess how and where they’re falling short of that vision today, the more accurately you’ll be able to identify how and where they can improve.

And that’s the good news about who your child is in any of these areas – THEY CAN IMPROVE. Each of these talents can be taught and learned. They can be developed, cultivated, and refined. If you’re intentional about making it happen, that gap can be closed. In fact, you might be surprised how much better they can get. You’ll also find that as a sports parent, there are few things more fun than seeing your child grow and improve in an area you know is important, especially when that improvement's driven by the meaningful work you’re doing in their life.

As a sports parent, there are few things more fun than seeing your child grow and improve in an area you know is important, especially when that improvement's driven by the meaningful work you’re doing in his life.

Now don’t get me wrong. Closing the gap isn’t quick, easy, or convenient work. Building and developing anything great in life, including the talents of a champion, takes grit – perseverance and passion for this long-term goal. That’s why most people don’t do it. The process will be slow, and sometimes frustrating, but don’t give up. And don’t waste your time comparing your child to other kids who may be farther along in some of these areas. Just focus on teaching and developing to the best of your ability today. Find a way to use whatever events or experiences occur to help them get better. And when they do get better, celebrate it like crazy. Help them see how important their improvement in these areas is to you. Then that process of improvement will start becoming more important to them, too.

Closing the gap is not work for the faint of heart. It's not for the average or the mediocre. It’s the slow, challenging, sometimes painful work that separates the very best from all the rest. Typically it won’t be recognized, applauded, or celebrated. But it is the work it takes to build and develop a champion. If you're interested, I hope you'll get busy today.