BEYOND THE NUMBERS
If you’re a typical sports parent, you’ve probably become somewhat of a numbers expert. Stats have always been an important measure of an athlete’s success at the pro level, but these days they’ve become an important part of the game at every level. There's never been more information available for analysis – regardless of your child's age or ability. Online programs allow us to track, celebrate, and publicize even the most advanced metrics for even the most meaningless games.
No matter who you are, when your child plays well it’s easy to celebrate the numbers. We all feel that way. If you’re the parent who’s tracking your kid’s stats from the bleachers, you’re not alone. If you’re posting on your social media account the details of their latest impressive performance, you’re not alone. If you’re excited to let your child know after the game that tonight was their career night, you’re not alone. As proud parents, we love celebrating those achievements.
But I want to challenge you today – if you’re serious about becoming a champion sports parent, and serious about raising a champion of your own – to see beyond the numbers. Of course, in sports, the stats matter. They're one way to tell the story of the game your child has played. But those numbers don’t always tell the whole story. In fact, stats can sometimes be pretty misleading. When it comes to measuring how the game is played, there's more than sometimes meets the eye.
Of course, in sports, the stats matter. They're one way to tell the story of the game your child has played. But those numbers don’t always tell the whole story.
Here’s what I mean. An athlete can have a career-game statistically, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they've played like a champion. What if, for example, your child scores their all-time high, but it's obvious as you watch that they clearly haven't given their best effort? Maybe it was a lucky night, where every shot found its mark, but did they play a great game in your eyes? What if, on that night, they've treated their teammates, coaches, or opponents poorly? What if they've pouted, sulked, or stomped around in the midst of some challenging, unexpected adversity?
If you can’t see beyond the numbers, then those critical areas of weakness or deficiency will probably go unnoticed. And when you run up to your kid after the game, hug them tight and proclaim, “What a game! Your career high!,” you’ll be helping them look right past those issues, too. That’s because what you emphasize is what child will learn to value. Intentional or not, your words and actions are making a clear statement to your young athlete, that a number on that stat sheet is more important to me than the effort you gave, the way you treated people, or the courage and toughness you showed in the face of adversity.
At the same time, it’s entirely possible for an athlete to perform poorly, from a statistical standpoint at least, and still play like a champion. In fact, those nights – the ones that are filled with more challenge, struggle, and even failure – those are the ones that truly, accurately reveal those qualities that separate the champion from everyone else. It says even more about who your child is – and, might I add, who that kid's parents are – if he or she's giving their very best, treating people well, and exhibiting that courage and toughness when things aren’t going their way.
So what am I saying, that you should stop caring about the numbers? Not necessarily. If you’re tracking their stats from the bleachers, posting the details of their latest performance on social media, or feeling excited after the game to let them know how they've done, so be it. You can continue to celebrate what you see in the numbers if you choose. Just know that's not all the champion sports parent sees. They see beyond the numbers, too.
If your child has a great statistical night, you should enjoy it. But instead of celebrating the numbers, maybe you can see – and help them see, too – how the numbers were actually a result or a by-product of those qualities they exhibited – the qualities possessed by a champion. Celebrate the effort, or the unselfishness, or the courage or toughness that led to the stat line. Help them connect the dots on why they had the performance they had, and in the process, help them see what it is you really love about watching them play.
If it’s not their night, believe it or not, you can still find something worth celebrating. In fact, as we said earlier, the challenges, struggles, and failures should provide more reason to celebrate their high-level performance in those most important areas. Your child probably won’t be as excited as you are, but the more you clarify for him or her what you really value, the more you’ll influence what it is they learn to value, too.
I hope you can see that even though all those numbers on the stat sheet seem important today, they’ll be irrelevant in no time. What will remain are the qualities you’ve developed and cultivated, the ones that will lead your child to real, authentic success – even when their playing days are done. Those are the qualities that separate them from everyone else and help define them as a champion, in sports and in life.